by Sara Miles, Salon.com, USA - I never bothered taking off the ring. A little over four years ago, I swung by a jeweler and bought a $40 gold band, rushing to an event I'd never expected would happen -- my wedding. Martha and I, who had been together for 11 years then, were married, with our daughter as witness, at San Francisco's City Hall, in the great Valentine's Day uprising of affirmative civil disobedience.