"I wanna Go Home". That was the subject of my youngest brother's email. Days after the violence has died down in South Africa, the impact is now starting to be felt.

My brother had resolved that he would not flee the xenophobic attacks. He said he would stay in South Africa as he felt there was rule of law and the police would protect him.

However, today he finally broke and said he wanted out. Remember my sister left as soon as the attacks, which claimed more than 50 lives, started.

He said while the violence has died down, he no longer has a job, no money and has no place to stay.

South African landlords cashing in on the desperate plight of foreigners were charging high nightly rates.

"We have to pay for a shower too," he says.

He realises that Zimbabwe is not the safest place for young unemployed men, but has nowhere else to run to.

Like a number of Zimbabweans, he thinks the violence in South Africa is a well orchestrated plot to get as many Zimbabweans back to their country to vote.

"The more people who cast their votes, the easier it will be for Bob (Robert Mugabe) to rig the elections," he says.

He reminds me that the South African high commission in Harare was closed for several days before and after the elections. This was done to reduce the number of people travelling outside the country.

My brother, who has now moved to Hillbrow sent me the longest email ever. I suspect he is reaching out. Initially, forced to live in the township because the rents there were cheaper and because the townships were much safer than Hillbrow, he strangely now feels safer in Hillbrow. He says he feels a little safer with other African brothers. This causes me to conclude that the raging South African mobs have suddenly been branded non African. My brother says he feels safer in Hillbrow because the brothers from Nigeria, Cameroon, Zimbabwe and Pakistan who live in Hillbrow mostly have guns. As the elder sister I asked the inevitable question of whether he would consider going back. The response pasted here : "Mugabe is also beating up pple there, so it's better to be beaten up here where the polce at least try and defend you rather than in Zim where it's the cops and sodiers beating up pple ,you know even the government (South African government) knows ukuthi (that) no one can just enter eHillbrow and do what they pliz ,unless they are ready for war,Iraq style,anything can come out of hillbrow even war tanks can emerge from a basement !,gaya (Imagine)I feel like writing and writing but I'm out of time,now that uSie (our 28-year old sister)is at home I feel all alone,I really wish to raise money to pay for my daughter's lobola." My brother has a young daughter whom he can't have custody of because traditionally he must pay lobola because he is not married to the mother of his daughter. What love!

The reports from South Africa about the continuing violence against immigrants come as no surprise.

As a student in post-apartheid South Africa from 1998 to 2000, the derogatory term "Kwerekwere" was often heard.

Kwerekwere refers to anyone who is not from South Africa and speaks none of the country's dozen or so official languages.

You are a Kwerekwere because when you speak the South Africans do not understand what you are saying, so to them you are a sounding gong making unintelligible sounds "kwerekwere".

My 28-year old sister began her journey from Johannesburg on Friday with her six-week old baby fearing that she would be killed.

The trip from Johannesburg to our home in Gwanda, Matabeleland would have taken her about 12 hours, but it took her 48 hours.

Needless to say, that was the worst time of our lives as I kept calling her to check if she was alright. I barely slept as I was calling and sending encouraging text messages.

She says they were forced to use backroads to avoid the police as well as the mob roadblocks.

When I talked to her on Monday she was still dazed saying she was not sure which was the worse evil, the mobs in Johannesburg or the hunger and political volatility in Zimbabwe.

I am yet to talk to my mother as I don't have the emotional stamina to deal with her sobbing because her youngest son remained behind in Johannesburg.

He said he wants to wait for a couple of days and see whether the situation improves.